Tuesday, July 30, 2013

Guest posting @ The Whimsy One

Hey guys, and happy last day of July!  Where did this month go, huh?

No post here today.  I am guest blogging for Maddie today on The Whimsy One.  She offered me to share my infertility story and journey with her followers through The Infertility Prayer Project.



What is The Infertility Prayer Project?  Well in Maddie's words, it is a sounding board for women or couples that are struggling with the overwhelming desire to have a child and it is not so readily happening for them; even when it seems it is happening for everyone you know or even meet. 

Be sure to go visit The Whimsy One today and read my story.



Weekend Recap in Pictures

Since I shared a recipe yesterday I wasn't able to share my weekend with y'all. 

Friday was supposed to be a low key night but Luke's cousin and his wife, Katie decided we should head out to eat.  After dinner, we went bowling.  Bowling!!  Something I have not done in years!  We. had. an. absolute. blast!! 

           

 
 
 
I think Katie and I may have started something with the bowling.  Our guys are true competitors and bowling is a very serious game to them.  Even though Luke got "pro-bowler of the week", I'm sure Monroe is going to give him a run for his money this Friday.  This Friday?  Yes!  They have already decided we are doing Midnight Bowling.  Staying classy that's for sure. 
 
 
Saturday, I went with a good friend, MA, back to our college town.  We have been dying to go back to one of our favorite restaurants and it was the perfect time to go!  I got to enjoy MA's girls too!  She has the most precious, happy, and beautiful twin girls.  They are four months now and it is so awesome to see them cooing and smiling.  One is already rolling from her back to her stomach, and her sister isn't far behind her.  
 
Sunday, we had a family birthday to attend.  This little 2 year old is as spunky as they come. 
 
 
 
There was the weekend!  Be sure to come back tomorrow.  I will be providing a link the Maddie's Infertility Prayer Project.  I will be guest posting there tomorrow and talking about my infertility story. 

 

Monday, July 29, 2013

Seven Layer Mexican Dip {Recipe Linkup}

Hey friends!  Monday is here and I feel like I have the Monday Blues.  We had a great but packed weekend (Weekend Recap coming up Tuesday) and I just hate to see it end. 
The best way to start off the week is with an awesome recipe linkup.  This is the third week I've linked up for Mouthwatering Mondays and I already have a list full of new recipes to try out soon on Luke.
 

 
 
I never thought I would share a must have Mexican recipe.  I have never enjoyed Mexican foods, but I am now on the bandwagon and I am a huge fan!
A co-worker brought this dish in for a retirement party a few weeks back and it is too delicious not to share.  The recipe is simple and real quick to assemble everything. 
What You'll Need:
* 1 package taco seasoning mix                 * 1 package cream cheese, softened
*1 can refried beans                                     * 1 (16 oz) container sour cream
*1 (16 oz) jar salsa                                        * 1 large tomato, chopped
*1 green bell pepper, chopped                   * 1 small head iceberg lettuce, shredded
* 1 (6 oz) can sliced black olives, drained
* 2 cups shredded Cheddar cheese
Directions:

 

1. In a medium bowl, blend the taco seasoning mix and refried beans. Spread the mixture onto a large serving platter.

2. Mix the sour cream and cream cheese in a medium bowl. Spread over the refried beans.

3. Top the layers with salsa. Place a layer of tomato, green bell pepper, green onions and lettuce over the salsa, and top with Cheddar cheese. Garnish with black olives










Friday, July 26, 2013

#SheReadsTruth

Happy Friday!!  As one of my favorite YouTubers would say, "Y'all ready for the weekend baby? Get ready for the weekend!!"  I'm not sure what it is but this week has been a slow one and I am looking forward to have sometime with friends and family this weekend.



Lately, I have been looking for a daily devotional.  I searched for a few weeks but I still couldn't find one that fit.  While online, I found She Reads Truth.  This website and daily plans are written by a group of ladies just wanting to share God's word and just growing closer to him. 

This week, She Reads Truth launched their second plan and it’s a good one.  What started out as a Women's Bible study has grown into a huge community of encouragement among women. How wonderful it is to have women encouraging each other!!

You can do it too! It’s easy!


 If you have a smart phone, download the YouVersion app or go to the main website and create a member login to get your daily devotions.  Currently, we are on The Women in The Bible, Part 2.  To find the She Reads Truth plan, all you will need to do is browse the plans and search. 

To start the morning, I have a reminder sent from the YouVersion app with the days bible verses. 



After you have checked off that you've read the given scripture, you are able to read the daily plans devotional. 


Usually when my alarm goes off in the morning I take my phone and go through all of my social media apps.  Instead of reading through those, I read my #SheReadsTruth devotional and start my day with a pure heart and pray I continue serving God like I need.

If you need added help, visit, #SheReadsTruth for the step by step process.  Go ahead and start this daily devotional and add a little encouragement to your day!


And Just because there is nothing cuter, I was able to Facetime with the handsome kid yesterday.  We are trying to make the tongue roll perfect.  It is a work in progress.
**If you follow me on Instagram you have seen this picture.  If you'd like to follow me on Instagram, click the tab to the right.**




Let me know if you join the SheReadsTruth party!  Have a blessed weekend!!!



Thursday, July 25, 2013

Maddie's Infertility Story: Guest Post

Morning friends!  Today I am so excited to have Maddie guest post for me today.  I have been under the weather the past few days and her guest post comes at the perfect time.  I have just recently found Maddie's blog, but it quickly became one of my favorites.  Hope you all enjoy Maddie's infertility story.

_________________________________________________________________________


 Hi guys, I am Maddie and I blog over at a Tinge of Whimsy. I normally ramble on about whoopie pies and tasty cocktails, but sometimes I like to delve into more serious & personal topics. One that is very much in the forefront for me is infertility. It is a situation that I have been dealing with for almost nine years. I was so honored when Sydney asked me to share my journey with you guys. So here goes. There are a number of reasons that we have had troubles and some should be simple fixes and others...they are way past complicated.


After over 8 years of trying, we're down to... One year to get pregnant, one year to have another surgery, one year to try new shots and most importantly...one year off of my medicine. That's why we have a limit. and every day...I get more nervous that the one year will be up and my dreams have finally crashed and burn...But I also believe in the Lord's promises.



Prepare..I may get a little personal here, so warning time. Leave if you must;) haha I will not get too overzealous in my explanations, but you know...I may throw around bleeding and tampons a time or two. but mainly this is to parlay my feelings.

I started my period at a very early age...I was 9, yes, you read that correct. NINE. and I had no idea what happened, I thought I had a cut "in a bad place" haha talk to your daughters early, folks:) By 12 I had an excused absence from school for 2 days each month b/c I would lose so much blood and have severe cramps. Everyone assumed I had what my mom and each aunt had also had...Endometriosis, but the doctor assured us that was not the problem. I just suffered from severe cramps and birth control pills should help...I tried them for a while, but due to my depression and PTSD, all of this took a back seat and I had to come off the birth control because of medication interference.

Fast forward to 6 months before I was scheduled to get married, I was visiting my future in laws in Boston for Thanksgiving when a pain that threw me to the ground & took my breath away hit me. A pain so severe, it left me doubled over in agony. The ER immediately thought I was suffering from kidney stones and were actually pretty shocked when the ultra sound showed numerous cysts that had burst. I had no idea that they would hurt so much! and I have the highest pain tolerance you can imagine(and due to the fact I eventually had kidney stones on two occasions, I can rightfully say the pain is pretty much the same anyways) Then, 5 weeks before we were scheduled to get married, they had to do emergency surgery to remove cysts...and endometriosis that was a stage 4 and wrapped around all my organs.{let's not even go into that pesky detail about how they were like you can't have sex for 6-8 weeks and this was a little less than 5 weeks before my wedding;) We got married and not even 10 months later it had completely grown back. They tried putting me on a lupron shot and it caused seizures.

The next few years just involved excruciating pain each month, excessive bleeding and all out nightmare b/c of my period. I cannot drive the first two days after I start, I throw up continuously and am the walking dead. Which is lovely for my poor hubs.  It causes infertility. To stop its growth, you need to get pregnant, but it also blocks getting pregnant. I love nature fighting nature...not;) I was diagnosed with a large fibroid the size of a grape fruit, I have to have it removed along with another surgery to clean out my endometriosos.

I was told I couldn't get pregnant without help and I knew it was going to be a long road and one of prayer, I just didn't understand the full depths. The doctors were wrong, I did get pregnant and I lost the baby. There is an overwhelming feeling of loss and of failure that you can't quite put into words when you suffer a miscarriage. I have friends who have had 5 and 6. I honestly cannot fathom how they do it. Although, we are all stronger than we think and when we have a desire...you can push through pretty readily.




I am having the surgery in a few months, I hope this one finally is what it takes.. I am going off my bipolar medicine and I am scared. What if I am not capable of functioning without it and we have to give up? I want a baby desperately, but I cannot put my desire ahead of being healthy for my child. It is a big realization, it is a world of hurt and confusion. and I have 12 months to determine if being a mother is finally gonna happen. I can't be off the medicine longer than that and still be healthy. and while I yearn for a baby, my goal is to be a mother...and not just "have a baby"... To bake cookies and snuggle, potty training and temper tantrums. I long for it all. Except the parts that involve mommy being crafty. Sorry baby B, you are gonna get the short end of that stick, but I will try. But all is good, your mommy will make whoopie pies;)


I want to be a mother, I want to have a child with my husband, I truly desire to see him be a father and for that first moment I hold my child in my arms, no matter how I become a mother. I get chill bumps just thinking about it.

The tick tock is just a lot louder and more obvious now...

This is a part of my journey, but not the whole story...and mine, while unique to me, is somewhat similar to millions of other women. Infertility is rampant. And even though it is definitely more talked about now a days, some women(and definitely men) suffer in silence. Refuse to talk about it. Find it embarrassing


.
and so, I decided to start The Infertility Prayer Project. I am really excited about the opportunities I have had to have a place where women can share their desires and wishes with other women who are in a similar situation. Whether you put it all out there or anonymously as a place to ask others to pray b/c you are not quite ready to share your story. There is too much negativity, positive words can mend wounds you often didn't know you had.


I have had so many lovely ladies share their journey with me and other ladies. I am so appreciative of Sydney for letting me ramble on here with my story.

 I invite you to come over and check out the amazing stories from some fantastic women.
_______________________________________________________________________________
Thanks again Maddie for sharing your heart with us.  It is hard not to feel alone when you are dealing with infertility.  The main thing I look for is support.  The Infertility Prayer Project is a wonderful way for individuals like me, to talk to women who are in my same situation and feeling the same overwhelming desire to have a child. 
Be sure to head over to Maddie's blog, say hello and continue to follow in her journey.  I am excited to share my story this Wednesday with The Infertility Prayer Project.

Monday, July 22, 2013

Mouthwatering Mondays {Recipe Linkup}


Today I am linking up with a group of ladies for Mouthwatering Mondays.  Today they are featuring Favorite BBQ/ Picnic Recipes. 

Lately I have loved foods that I have never touched before, and Sweet Potatoes are one of them. This past week we had BBQ sliders and I knew I wanted to pair them up with mouthwatering sweet potatoes.
I found this recipe and saw that it was filled with creamy goodness and had to try it out on my
husband.


What You'll Need:
 (Serves 6)
* 4 cups sweet potato; cooked and cubed
* 1/2 cup white sugar
*2 eggs, beaten
* 1/2 teaspoon salt
* 4 tablespoons butter, softened
* 1/2 cup milk
* 1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
* 1/2 cup packed brown sugar
* 1/3 cups all-purpose flour
* 1/2 cup chopped pecans (I omitted this)
* 1/2- 1 cup small marsh mellows


Directions:

1. Preheat oven to 325 degrees F (165 degrees C). Put sweet potatoes in a medium saucepan with water to cover. Cook over medium high heat until tender; drain and mash.
2. In a large bowl, mix together the sweet potatoes, white sugar, eggs, salt, butter, milk and vanilla extract. Mix until smooth. Transfer to a 9x13 inch baking dish.


       
3. In medium bowl, mix the brown sugar and flour. Cut in the butter until the mixture is coarse. Stir in the pecans. Sprinkle the mixture over the sweet potato mixture.


 
4. Bake in the preheated oven 30 minutes, or until the topping is lightly brown.
5. Take out of oven and add marsh mellows over top and place back in oven on BROIL until marsh mellows are golden brown.

 
Not only is this dish a must for summer BBQ's put it is a staple during Holiday dinners.  I have found that this is a side dish that has staple ingredients and is quick to put together. 
This recipe serves 6 but I had no left over after serving 4 people.  My motto is, "If the Hubs likes it, save the recipe and cook it weekly!"

What are your favorite BBQ recipes?

Friday, July 19, 2013

Liebster Award

Hey friends. Happy Friday!!  Katie,from The Campbell's nominated me for the Liebster Award.  Blogger awards are the best way to find new bloggers and I knew I had to join in on the fun.

The Liebster Award is given to up and coming bloggers who have less than 200 followers. So, what is a Liebster?  The meaning: Liebster is German and means sweetest, kindest, nicest, dearest, beloved, lovely, kind, pleasant, valued, cute, endearing, and welcome. Isn't that sweet? Blogging is about building a community and it's a great way to connect with other bloggers and help spread the word about newer bloggers/blogs.

Here are the rules:
1. Link back to the person who nominated you
2. Answer the 11 Liebster questions given to you by the nominee before you
3. Pick 11 bloggers with under 200 followers to be nominated
4. Com up with 11 questions for your nominees to answer
5. Notify your nominees


Here are my questions from Katie:

1. Favorite soft drink?
     Diet Dr. Pepper

2. What is your favorite reality TV show?
    This is a hard one because I am a reality show junkie! I would have to say any Real Housewives show.  My husband will hate this answer because he calls it trash.
3. Would your rather be hot or cold and why?
   Cold, Cold, Cold!!  I am not made for hot weather at all.  One of my favorite things to do is turn the air down in my house just so I can cozy up with a blanket.  Honestly, nothing better!
4. What is your greatest fear?
     My greatest fear is not being able to become a Mother.  I just have to put it all in God's hands.
5. Are you more likely to be found wearing flats or heels?
     I'd have to say flats on this one.  I enjoy a good wedge, but since after knee surgery, those are in the back of the closet...for now.
6. What is a quote that defines you and your life right now and why?
   This is a recent one that I got off of my Fertility Center's website, but it says "Already in my heart, someday in my arms."  The defines me and what I am going through because we have yet to hold our child in our arms, but we know that all miracles take a little time.
7. What one piece of makeup could you not live without?
   Mascara!!! 100%  By the way, have you tried lBenefits They're Real Mascara??  AMAZING!!
Just a little FYI for you, The Bacherlorette, Emily Maynard swears by it!  Read about it Here.
8. What is your main goal for your blog?
  My main goal for my blog is to write for me.  Over the past months it has been very therapeutic for me and if I am able to help someone else through my journey, that's an extra bonus.
9. What is your go to perfume?
Beyond Paradise by Estee Lauder.  This is the perfume that my Daddy always bought me.  The scent is very zesty and floral.  I love it!
10. What is one random fact about yourself?
   I am been told numerous times that I am not a true southerner because...I HATE Grits!!  Not my cup of sweet tea
11. Favorite book?
   Well, having an Education major and background I would have to say No, David!  Children love all the books written by David Shannon.  The make the children laugh but learn lessons too.
My Questions for my Nominees to answer:
1. What do you order at Starbucks?
2.What's one thing in your closet you can't live without?
3.What's one thing most people don't know about you?
4.If you could travel anywhere, where would it be and why?
5. Favorite hobby, besides Blogging?
6.What kind of style would you describe yourself as having?
7.What is one dessert you can't live without?
8.If you had a bucket list, what would your #1 be?
9. What is your favorite quality in a friend?
10.Favorite chick flick of all time?
11. What would you say to your 15 year old self??
My Nominees:

Sunday, July 14, 2013

Strawberry Angel Food Trifle

Today, I am excited to link up with Katie from The Campbell's with her Mouthwatering Mondays.  This weeks topic is Summer Desserts. 

I feel like during the summer I can eat my weight in fruit, and nothing says summer time like ripe crisp strawberries.  If you have had rain for the past two weeks like we have and miss the sunshine, whipping up this quick and easy recipe will sure bring some brightness. 




What You'll Need:
* 1 store bought angel food cake
* 3 cups vanilla pudding
* 24 ox. thawed strawberries, sliced with sugar added
* 16 oz. whipped cream

Steps:

1. Tear angel food cake into medium pieces
2. Start layering cake, strawberries, pudding and whip cream into large Trifle bowl
3. Continue to layer until bowl is filled
4. Top dessert with layer of whip cream only and add fresh strawberries for presentation
5. Place in fridge for 4 hours before serving

This recipe is so quick and easy.  There is plenty of room to "skinny" up this recipe for a more waist friendly dessert. 
If you haven't already go link up with Katie and share your favorite summer time dessert and be sure to come back every Monday for more fun!





Friday, July 12, 2013

Things Not to Say to Someone Struggling with Infertility

When you are someone struggling with infertility, people can sometimes say hurtful things unintentionally.  The first thing people say right after you get married are "When are you going to have a baby?"  Or the first thing people say after having their first baby is "When are you going to have a second?"  I am guilty of asking people both of those questions.  Not knowing if they can't have a baby.  But, if infertility is an issue for the couple, WOW that can be hard to deal with. 



I never thought about this until I was the one having trouble getting pregnant...Fertile Myrtle I am not.  So, I thought it would be fun on what not to say to someone that is struggling with infertility.

* Aren't fertility treatments expensive?
       You bet ya!  The total cost for meds, shots, blood work, ultrasounds, egg testing, sperm testing, and regular visits are insane!!!  Some people are blessed with awesome insurance and they pay 100%.  Others pay a percentage, while others pay nothing.  The most important thing for people are having a baby.  Treatments are expensive but so are houses, going out to eat everyday of the week, and a new car with all the works.  We don't need to be reminded of how expensive it is...are bank accounts show it. 

* Just let it happen naturally.
      If it was just that easy we wouldn't be shoveling out a the money we are.  It is much easier said than done.   Of course miracles happen.  If God wants us to be parents, we will be.  But, if the medicines and doctor visits help the process go a little faster, I'm all for it. 

* Why are you doing fertility treatments?  It took (insert name) over a year but shes finally pregnant.
   Yes, it is naturally difficult for a woman to get pregnant who have no known issues.  We know this.  This doesn't help when certain women/men have known issues and are told it will be a miracle if you get pregnant without assistance.  Your friend is just lucky. 

* I bet when you stop treatments and stop stressing you will get pregnant. 
   I have heard this too many times to count.  If it was just that easy there would be no need for Reproductive Endocrinologist, IUIs and IVFs.  Call the doctors, the problem is solved!!! Stop stressing...again... if it was that easy. 

* You are so young, just enjoy life.  There's plenty of time. 
  For some of us, we want to expand our family right after the DJ plays the last song at our weddings.  Or...lets try for a Honeymoon Baby!  Each individual couple is different.  Only they know when the timing is right.  Waiting to have a baby only decreases the odds of having a baby for someone that already has existing infertility. 


There are so many others things not to say to someone who is struggling for that precious baby.  We know most people speak out of love and comfort; and we know a lot of people don't know what to say in situations like this, but the only thing we really need is support.  Even if you don't agree with the couple decision...support them! 

If you or someone you know is struggling with infertility, miscarriage, still birth, or even losing a child after birth please fill free to show them this blog.  Make sure you click the side button that says "Follow" to read more updates and info on Infertility.  It is great to have support of others who are in your shoes.  Before being diagnosed with infertility I knew a small handful of people who were experiencing it, however it was hardly talked about.  There needs to be an outlet for people to share their stories in hope of finding that extra support.  I have a story, we all do.  All I can hope is that talking about it more openly could possible help someone in need of support.

Thursday, July 11, 2013

Infertility Journey: Part 5



The days just went by so slow waiting for our first ultrasound.  We could not wait to hear and see the heartbeat. 
I decided to take the day off just to enjoy the day with my husband and just soak everything in.  We stopped by to see Luke's cousin, Allison, and had her take a few snap shots of us.  We were so excited to introduce the world to our December baby. 


Once we arrived for the ultrasound the tech was in the room but so was our amazing doctor, Dr. Miller.  Dr. Miller found the heartbeat right away.  It was the most beautiful thing I have even seen.  I remember being so filled with joy.  The tech measured the baby and said it was measuring 6 weeks.  I remember thinking that was a little odd because I was 7 weeks and 2 days.  When you are seeing a specialist like I was they watch you so closely, so I knew the exact date that I ovulated and conceived.  He assured me everything looked good and there was a possibility that I did not ovulate on time and it was a miracle that I was even pregnant, but he did want to see me in a week to measure the baby again.  I left feeling excited that I was able to see the heartbeat and able to have pictures of our little one.  However, my concern overpowered everything else.  I was worried. Call it a mother's intuition.  I tried to stay positive but in the back of my mind I felt like I would never hold this baby in my arms. 

A week later we went back for our second ultrasound to be measured again.  The first thing I noticed was there was no heartbeat.  I waited for my doctor to confirm...then lost it.  The baby was supposed to be measuring 9 weeks and I was still only measuring 6.  I never felt this kind of emotions.  The baby that we tried so hard for...the baby that we wanted more than anything was gone.  All I could do was look at my husband and ask Why.  Why did this happen?  When had already been through so much losing my father, this is something we needed.  The breath was knocked out of me.



We went into the Dr's. office and he was wonderful.  He consoled my husband and I and I know he felt our pain.  He talked with us about our options.  I could wait to miscarry naturally (which could take up to 3-5 weeks) or I could scheduled a D&C and have it over sooner than later.  The thought of waiting to miscarry my child was traumatizing.  There was no way I wait, so I scheduled my D&C for the next morning.  On May 1, 2013 I checked in for my surgery.  I had the best support from my husband, mom, mother in law, and doctors.

Before my surgery, I had the doctor check one more time for a heartbeat.  I needed that reassurance.

When I woke up from surgery all I could do was cry.  My baby was actually gone and I was no longer pregnant.  It is still so heartbreaking. 

A week after, I went in for a post op appointment.  And wouldn't you figure...the waiting room was full with pregnant women who looked liked they were all ready to pop at any given moment.  My heart just sank.  Before losing the baby and even getting pregnant it never made me sad to see babies or pregnant women because I was able to think, WOW, I cant wait for that to be me.  But all I could think about was that WAS me...but is no longer. 

This was the only picture that we have of our miracle.

 

Mother's Day this year was hard.  This would of been my first one as a Mom.  Something I looked forward to.  Even though I was only able to carry my baby for a short time... I was still a Mother.  I am a mother who lost a child very early on in my pregnancy and had to experience having a baby torn from my womb too soon.  I feel like no mother should have to relate to me.  But, we are all mother

I think about all the Mothers who have had a child to hold at the end of their pregnancy, sleepless nights, and load upon loads of dirty laundry.  I hope they know how many of us in the world envy them. I have been though many pains in my journey to motherhood.  But I became a mother the day we decided it was the right time to expand our family. Even though my child, who we decided to name Hayden, is not physically here, I am still a Mother. 

As of now, we are on "hold" on trying for another baby.  We feel like the timing has to be right.  It's hard to know that there is a possibility of going through the same pain all over again and not ending up with a baby in our arms.  I am keeping the "Bump Dates" tab on the sidebar of the blog for the future.  I know that we will be blessed with another baby and there will be need to showcase my growing bump!  For now, it is in God's hands.  He is in control.



Wednesday, July 10, 2013

Infertility Journey: Part 4

Click Here to read Part 1, Part 2, and Part 3 of our journey. 
 

 At the end of March my mom and I took a vacation to Philadelphia to visit my brother and his family.  I brought along a pregnancy test.  During our visit, I didn’t think much about testing because I knew I was too early to test.  On our last day, I caved. 
 
While I was waiting for the test to finish, I was thinking how I should not of tested because my husband wasn't with me to see the results.  But, the other part of me was glad I did it without him so he couldn't see the negative result and wouldn't be upset that this month was not our month. 
 
But this cycle was our month. 
 
We were pregnant!!!!
 
I stood in the bathroom balling out of pure happiness.  All the medicines and all the shots...they worked!
 
I already knew how I wanted to share the big news with Luke.  I wanted to take him to the place we had our first kiss, first dance, and the place where he asked me to be his wife.  It was already a special place to us but telling him we were pregnant at the same spot would make it so much richer for the both of us.  After knowing the news for an hour I decided I could not wait till I got back home to tell him that he was going to be a Daddy.  I called him on the phone and asked about his day and quickly said, We are pregnant!!  Luke just started screaming, "WHAT?" and laughing.  We were both so in the moment and our world was perfect again.  We were ready for the huge change that was happening in our lives. We were pregnant...we are going to be parents!
 
I quickly called my nurse and told her the good news. Megan's response..."Geez that didn't take long."  She is seriously the best.  I made my first blood work appointment with her for when I returned home and my numbers were great!  I had to come back two days later to have another blood drawn to make sure my numbers were doubling like they should, and they were.  Luke and I couldn't still believe it.  We got our due date as December 7, 2013.
 
Once we found out that everything was looking good I of course started finding the most adorable things on Etsy and started a personal secret board on Pinterest so I could pin appropriate stuff for our December baby without anyone seeing.  We even started picking out the most perfect baby names.  
 
We were in heaven.  My husband and I were trying to decide when the perfect time would be to tell our family and close friends.  We went back and forth on if we should wait to the "safe period" of 12 weeks or go ahead and share the news and start having the prayers for us and our baby now.  We decided the best thing for us would to tell and just continue to ask for prayers during our whole pregnancy.  We knew not everyone would agree with our decision, but it was the right choice for us. 
 
I kept waiting for the feeling of being pregnant.  I kept waiting for the headaches and morning sickness to start.  But, neither came which was awesome because I hate being sick.  I am honestly the worlds worst. 
 
I did have your normal fatigue and I ended up getting this awful itchy rash.  I looked up rashes while pregnant and the only thing I saw was PUPPS.  The pictures and the stories other pregnant women showed scared me to death.  The main thing that worried me was that most women are induced early because they cant take the rash anymore and as soon as they deliver, the rash goes away.  All I could do was pray that it wasn't PUPPS because I knew it would be such a long 9 months.  After seeing my general doctor, he said he didn't think that it was PUPPS and game me a cream.  No relief.  If anything the rash was spreading over my whole entire body.  I called Dr. Miller and he prescribed me something to take the itch away that would not be harmful to the baby and wanted me to see a Maternal-Fetal Specialists.  Luke went with me to see the specialist and all he could say was that it wasn't PUPPS (which I already knew) and that he had no clue what I had.  We were back to square 1 with no help.  I had no clue how I was going to deal with this my entire pregnancy.  How did the dermatologist and the specialist not know what I had? 
I was desperate for answers and my mother in law decided to call her dermatologist and found out that he would see me right away.  He looked and me for 2 seconds and said he knew exactly what I had.  Hives.  Hives...something so small two other doctors could not tell me that I had.  He said he did not think it was from my pregnancy, but possibly from the hormone changes in my body.  He prescribed a steroid (which I got the okay on from Dr. Miller) and it went away in a week.  I was so relieved that the Hives were gone and I could enjoy my pregnancy.

Now all we had to do is wait for our first Ultrasound to see our perfect miracle.

Tuesday, July 9, 2013

Infertility Journey: Part 3

Click Here to read Part One and Here to read Part Two
 
The hope that I had at the end of our first cycle seeing a Reproductive Endocrinologist was still there at the start of my second cycle.  All of my medicines were the same and in return I expected the same outcome, perfect lining and at least two mature follicles.
 Neither happened.
During my ultrasound I could tell the tech was not as upbeat about the number of follicles that I had like she did the month before.  She hardly even spoke. I remember getting dressed and just asking my husband what he thought that meant.  The tech walked us into a sitting room and we waited for the nurse. 
 
Let me get sidetracked for just a second.  I adore my nurse, Megan.  She really knows her stuff when it comes to infertility. She is so personable and makes you feel like a friend instead of a patient.  She is my go to girl before I talk things over with Dr. Miller.
(You can click Here for a quick Bio on Dr. Miller and his staff.)
Megan looked over my ultrasound scans with Luke and I and said that my lining still looked good but I had zero mature follicles.  Zero!  What happened?  My meds were the same.  We did everything the same as last month where I had TWO.  Megan was so reassuring and said that sometimes these things happen and that my body was just not reacting to the medicine like it should.
We talked things over with Dr. Miller and he decided to do more blood work and instead of doing one ultrasound we would do two.  We would stay on the same meds but increase the dosage and add Metformin to the mix. (Metformin is usually prescribed for diabetics, however it helps women who have trouble ovulating.)
He also wanted to start injections.  This scared me.  I was hoping for the least amount of “help” to have a baby and I was already on a cocktail of medications.  But…of course all the medicines and shots in the world would be worth. 
Katie ended up having an excess of Follisim injections (used for egg growth) so she gave me two months worth.  How awesome! I had to have the injections at the same time for five days.  My husband said that he would do them for me but when it came time for him to insert the needle in my stomach, I chickened out.  My nerves started kicking in and I just felt like I needed to be in control of when it happened.  My nerves definitely got the best of me because it was such a piece of cake.   
On day 13 of my cycle I went in for my first of two ultrasounds.  My follicles were right on the line of being mature so he decided to recheck me in two days.  On the second check everything looked great and I was “ready” to ovulate.  Dr. Miller prescribed me a trigger shot to release my eggs; that way there was no guessing game on when we needed to start “trying” for the month.
Now we waited.  We waited for two weeks to see if we would get a positive.