Thursday, February 12, 2015

Life After Loss: My Story

Hey Y’all.  I'm Sydney and I blog at Raising Southern Grace.  I appreciate Aubrey having me today for Monday Mama.  I love finding other mothers to follow and this is a great series to get to know other Mama’s!
c/o Abby Williams

My son, Griffin is 8 months old, but I became a Mama in May 2012.  In May 2012 my husband and I decided that we were ready for children and that we would get off birth control and see what happens.  Months rolled around with no positive pregnancy test and I started to worry.  After several appointments with my Gynecologist, I made an appointment with a Reproductive Endocrinologist to see what was going on. I was diagnosed with PCOS, and was told it would be difficult for me to have children.  We started fertility treatments right away and were blessed in April 2013 with our first positive pregnancy test.  The next month we checked in on our baby and was told the most horrific news, “There is no longer a heartbeat.”
My life sank.  I had just lost by Dad to cancer five months prior and now I had to say goodbye to my child who I wanted to badly.  We decided after this news that we would take a break for a few months because we couldn’t fathom losing another pregnancy.
After a small break, my heart still ached to have a child in my arms so we started up fertility treatments again.  Our first cycle back after the loss, I had another positive pregnancy test.  I was over the moon excited.  I knew this was a child that God would let me raise and I had no fears during the entire pregnancy. 
c/o Wright Photography
Griffin was born April 25, 2014.  He was meant for us.   I think about the loss of my first child and I know we would not have Griffin if I didn’t go through that.  Having Griffin doesn’t make the loss any less hurtful.  It makes you really realize what you lost, but that God is still in control.
Now, I am “that mom”.  The mom who posts way too many pictures (Instagram:sydedwards22) and talk entirely too much about my child, and I love it.  I always swore I wouldn’t be that kind of mom but this is my new reality. 
c/o Abby Williams
I spend my days picking up toys for the 10th time and washing bottles in the sink that are up to my eyeballs.  There are mounds of baby clothes piled up and I haven’t had a full nights rest since he was born.  All the sweet snuggles, smiles, and laughter are amazing.  I go to bed at night and all I want to do is go get him out of his crib and get some extra snuggles in. 
c/o Abby Williams
Every day I am thankful.  Thankful to have a child to hold, take care of, and to love.  A child to call my own.

1 comment:

  1. I am so sorry for your loss. I hope it is something I never have to experience.

    Summer Ann
    Simply Summer Ann Blog