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| c/o Abby Williams |
My son, Griffin is 8 months old, but I became a Mama in May
2012. In May 2012 my husband and I
decided that we were ready for children and that we would get off birth control
and see what happens. Months rolled
around with no positive pregnancy test and I started to worry. After several appointments with my Gynecologist,
I made an appointment with a Reproductive Endocrinologist to see what was going
on. I was diagnosed with PCOS, and was told it would be difficult for me to have children. We started
fertility treatments right away and were blessed in April 2013 with our first positive pregnancy test. The next month
we checked in on our baby and was told the most horrific news, “There is no
longer a heartbeat.”
My life sank. I had
just lost by Dad to cancer five months prior and now I had to say goodbye to my
child who I wanted to badly. We decided
after this news that we would take a break for a few months because we couldn’t
fathom losing another pregnancy.
After a small break, my heart still ached to have a child in
my arms so we started up fertility treatments again. Our first cycle back after the loss, I had
another positive pregnancy test. I was
over the moon excited. I knew this was a
child that God would let me raise and I had no fears during the entire
pregnancy.
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| c/o Wright Photography |
Griffin was born April 25, 2014. He was meant for us. I
think about the loss of my first child and I know we would not have Griffin if
I didn’t go through that. Having Griffin
doesn’t make the loss any less hurtful.
It makes you really realize what you lost, but that God is still in
control.
Now, I am “that mom”.
The mom who posts way too many pictures (Instagram:sydedwards22) and
talk entirely too much about my child, and I love it. I always swore I wouldn’t be that kind of mom
but this is my new reality.
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| c/o Abby Williams |
I spend my days picking up toys for the 10th time
and washing bottles in the sink that are up to my eyeballs. There are mounds of baby clothes piled up and
I haven’t had a full nights rest since he was born. All the sweet snuggles, smiles, and laughter
are amazing. I go to bed at night and
all I want to do is go get him out of his crib and get some extra snuggles
in.
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| c/o Abby Williams |
Every day I am thankful.
Thankful to have a child to hold, take care of, and to love. A child to call my own.
I am so sorry for your loss. I hope it is something I never have to experience.
ReplyDeleteXOXO,
Summer Ann
Simply Summer Ann Blog