Friday, February 27, 2015

Hey Friday!

Cheers to the weekend!!  Friday has finally made itself known and I am so happy to see it.
Let's jump right into 5 on Friday!
We were supposed to get a huge snow fall on Wednesday night.  They said we should average about 5 inches.  The governor called state of emergency and all the schools and government offices were closed.  Thursday morning I woke up to...mud puddles.  I was so disappointed and I am sure the kiddos in the area were just as if not more disappointed.  The snow was a let down but I enjoyed a day off and was able to get a good bit of house work done.  Win win!
My sweet, sweet 10 month one day old BABY took his first steps yesterday!  Can you believe it?  He took two steps yesterday for the ladies at his daycare and when they told me my heart sank a little.  I was a little sad that I wasn't able to witness his first steps, but I am so happy to have wonderful women at his daycare that get excited about different milestones as I would.  We are so lucky to have this daycare.
Don't forget to enter my paypal cash giveaway.  Refer back to this post and get to know so more awesome ladies! You will not be disappointed.
With the day that we had off yesterday I was able to have a lunch date with Luke and we also went to see the paint progress on our cabinets. I hated to tell me husband that I didn't hate them but I wasn't sure about them either.  A lot of people say that absolutely love them, but I think I am going to have to wait and see them all installed with doors on them until I can make the decision that I love them. Either way, they are going in our house and staying.
Griffin's first birthday is fast approaching.  I have contacted our photographer and I have been working with some amazing shops for the details in this party.  I am so excited to share some goodies with y'all and some of the favorite shops I've discovered!
Happy weekend, Friends!
Linking up with the Five on Friday ladies:
Lauren Elizabeth for High Five Friday
Jennie for Friday Favorites
Rebecca for That Friday Blog Hop
Leslie for Confessional Friday
Amy for Oh hey Friday
Amanda for Friday Favorites

Wednesday, February 25, 2015

Custom Cabinets

I wanted to share a quick house update for y'all today.  We have finally got our drawings for our custom cabinets a few weeks ago and I am happy to say that our kitchen cabinets are almost completed.  I can not wait to share the final look with y'all.
We have an open concept downstairs and our kitchen open up to our great room and dining room area.  We wanted our kitchen to be a focal point and I am so thrilled on how the drawings turned out, I know I will be even more in love once they are hung in my house.

The picture above is the wall where the cook top will go.  Below is the drawing of the cabinets for this wall above.

I wanted a lot of drawers in the kitchen and I am happy to say that they are everywhere!
The drawings below are for the sides of the kitchen.  The B drawing on the right  is on the right side as you are looking into the kitchen from the great room.  It will house the fridge, microwave, and double oven.  I hope to have a small coffee/tea bar in that area too.
The C drawing is on the left side of the kitchen looking out at the pond.  My farm sink and dishwasher is housed on that side.

Our kitchen island will be layout like this as far as the cabinets and drawers.  The color cabinets are a light cream with a glaze.

Here are some pictures of the process for the cabinets.  Luke has told me that they have all been painted and glazed, but I haven't seen those yet. I will be going this week so the progress.

If you remember this post then you know I wanted my mudroom a certain way.  Because of space and "empty space" we had to change the washer/dryer to be stacked instead of side by side.  Below is a sketch of how our mudroom cabinets will look including a birds eye view.

We have a rough sketch of our spare bathroom vanity downstairs.  We will have a farm sink in there and the sides of the cabinets will be open shelving.  I want it to be more decorated with baskets and/or towels and the towels that guest use will be in the closet.

That's it for the update.  Hopefully I can get some new photos of the cabinets this week and be able to do another cabinet update soon.

Tuesday, February 24, 2015

Paypal Cash Giveaway!!! + meet some new friends

Hey Ladies!

How did Monday treat you?  Fair?  Well if your Monday was filled with the blues, lets make Tuesday fill your pocket with CASH!!

Today I am hosting a giveaway with Karli from September Farm and some other awesome ladies below.

Who doesn't want $105 just put in their pocket?

I know I have a lot of things I could purchase.  Anyone familiar with Magnolia Market?  Oh Joanna Gaines speaks my love language and her shop is right up my alley.

chelsea | karli | vicki
tawnya | sydney | kasey
samantha | kaelene | chelsee
The giveaway will end March 1st so hurry and get to know these sweet ladies!

Monday, February 23, 2015

Infertility Journey: Suzanne's Story

Happy Monday, friends! We had a wonderful weekend that dealt with getting out of the house.  Thank goodness the sickness seems to be gone and it was amazing just go get out.  Thankful for our health right now for sure!

This morning I have another Infertility Journey story for you.  This Mama has been through it and I hope you find some encouragement through reading it.

Here is Suzanne's story.
My name is Suzanne and I’ve been blogging about my infertility for over three years at Our Journey To A Baby Bump and trying to conceive for almost four.  

My husband and I met in 2001. He lived in the apartment below me. Within weeks of my moving in, we were spending time together. That was almost 14 years ago. We dated for 10 years before getting married in 2011. Our story wasn’t perfect. Nor should it be. The best of relationships have ups and downs and ours or course had our share.

Thankfully ours have always made us stronger, more resilient and more in love. Our relationship…was worth the wait.


When we married I was 33. A few months prior, we had an ectopic pregnancy while I was on the Mirena IUD. Even though we weren’t trying, it was a loss that hurt us. It made us realize that we didn’t want to wait once we were married. So with the first period after our wedding…we were officially “TTC”.


We were pregnant within three months. I got my BFP early, only 10 days after ovulation and my hCG levels were great, but something never felt right. I never felt pregnant. At our 7 week ultrasound, there was nothing, just an empty sac. Six days after the D&C, my hCG was still over 40,000. Pathologist confirmed and I underwent an emergency second D&C.


We were still hopeful that after getting pregnant on an IUD and again months later, it would still happen for us. But 2012 wasn’t meant to be. We tried a few cycles of Clomid and two IUI’s. My local RE refused any cycle day three testing saying ,“I didn’t need it”.  However, my instincts proved right. After pushing for more testing, we found out that I had severe diminished ovarian reserve (DOR). Once that was revealed, the doctor was done with me and refused any other treatments unless I went straight to donor eggs.


In our hearts, we wanted to do IVF to know for sure. I told myself when it doesn’t make sense…I’d move on, but until that time, I needed to see what my body could do before I could give up on a biological child. We found an RE that I loved in Chicago. He was kind and willing to give it his best shot for us. It’s all I wanted. In 2013, after a laporoscopy/hysteroscopy that found Stage III Endometriosis and was corrected, we moved forward with our first IVF. Between cysts and wonky hormone levels, we finally began our cycle.


Our cycle was heartbreaking. On the max dose of meds, we retrieved 2 eggs. TWO! And neither even made it to attempt fertilization. Just like that, it was crystal clear. I let go of my eggs and the biological connection to my children. It was difficult, but with donor eggs, at least we could have a child that I could carry—or though I thought. We flew to Colorado and officially became patients at CCRM. In June 2013, my uterus was approved to move forward with no abnormalities.


So we proceeded with a donor.

Now, curve ball…that same cycle, we were surprised by a natural BFP.

My hCG levels were all over the place, but never rose above the low 100’s. They decided to move forward with a D&C—a procedure that would change our lives.

Meanwhile, we planned a “freeze all” and once I was healed, we would continue with our FET. A week after my D&C, my hCG was still 178, and it was confirmed that it was another ectopic. The D&C was never even necessary.

As my body was prepped for our first transfer, oddly, my period never came. Almost 5 months after my D&C, another hysteroscopy showed Asherman’s Syndrome and that my uterus lining was permanently damaged during the D&C. We had surgery to try and correct, but after months of estrogen therapy and a failed FET, we knew that it was over. I would never carry.

With my amazing support group, I manage to keep pushing forward and a month later, I met my gestational surrogate and her family. I now have a friendship with a woman that I couldn’t imagine not having in my life and she’s currently almost 13 weeks pregnant with our twins.


The journey we’ve been on has been nothing short of the most insane roller coaster you could imagine. But I don’t believe that ones infertility story should be considered better or worse, easier or harder than another. There’s no such thing as an easy breezy infertility journey. Some may not take as long…some may be a few cycles of Clomid or Letrozole. Some may just need an IUI to take off the stress of “timed intercourse” (my husband’s favorite). Others may have to move towards IVF. And still there are those that have to look beyond their own biological connection to adoption, donor eggs or donor sperm. And sometimes…even more…surrogacy.

Whatever the direction infertility takes you, it’s mentally and emotionally hard and during some of the darkest moments, it’s heartbreaking.  It takes strength, courage and support to get through what us “infertiles” face. One thing it’s never been for me…is lonely. I’ve never been without a friend picking me up off the ground.  Whether that friend is someone close to me, or someone I’ve met through a forum or blog. I’ve had an abundance of love coming my way through these past four years. It’s what’s gotten me through.

There have been many tears these past several years as we’ve navigated through challenge after challenge and failure after failure. There were moments I wanted to crawl in a hole and never come out. But with the help of my husband, my friends and this community…I’ve pulled up my big girl panties, wiped away the tears and marched forward.

Thank God I did. My journey was difficult. But it has led me to where I am today and I wouldn’t trade it for anything. Nothing…not my own eggs, not carrying a baby in my uterus, could make me love my babies anymore than I love these two she’s carrying.

I have so many people that have been involved in our struggles; our doctor at CCRM, our egg donor, our surrogate, my husband, all of my blog friends and ME. I have been reminded these past few months, these babies may not be in my body, but they are here because I never gave up.

Surrogacy is a gift that changes your life. It changes the life of everyone involved. Our friends, our family and her friends and family and our children…hers and one day mine. It certainly has changed my life for the better.

My only hope is that I can teach my children the kind of love, kindness and act of giving that the woman carrying our children has taught me.


My Surrogate’s Daughter…and Me.



Friday, February 20, 2015

Finally Fri-yay!

Its finally Friday and you know what that means! Time to link up with the ladies below for some five on Friday.  Lets jump right in!

Joanna Gaines.  The woman behind HGTV's Fixer Upper.   I have been obsessed with her but it has gone to a new level since we are in the middle of building our house.  Her style is such a great mix of my husband's style and my style.  I have a few of her products from her Magnolia store and I am so excited to use some of her pieces in my house. 

Joanna Gaines Shopping
Spring.  I have been dreaming of Spring all month long.  I am looking forward to some beautiful weather.  I am so ready for germ season to head on its way out and actually enjoy being outside.
In house news, we are still not moved in yet. Blech.  However, things are moving along.  Here is a little sneak peek at our great room.  The trim is finally completed (finally) and the beams were installed at the beginning of this week.  We will be painting the wood on the walls white and the beams will be a dark stain.  I have said this 100 times and will probably say it 100 times more before we move in, but I am so ready to get in there!  Joanna Gaines better watch out because I will move hitting up her shop more often.
Anyone else' laundry look like this?  I am good about doing at least one load of laundry a day and I really stay on track of it, but it never fails and it still gets piled up.  Maybe laundry will be more fun when I get to do it in an actual laundry/mudroom.  Wishful thinking?  You can click here to see some inspiration on for our mudroom.

No Friday post is complete without my main squeeze.  Meal time has been a nightmare.  He is over baby food, unless it comes in a squeeze pouch.  He has been eating what we've been eating which is a little less of a struggle, but still a struggle.  I have started giving him a teething biscuit to chew on while I feed him and it has seemed to help.  I say he enjoyed this meal since he has mashed potatoes up to his eyebrows.  No?
Happy weekend, Friends!

Linking up with the Five on Friday ladies:
Lauren Elizabeth for High Five Friday
Jennie for Friday Favorites
Rebecca for That Friday Blog Hop
Leslie for Confessional Friday
Amy for Oh hey Friday
Amanda for Friday Favorites

Thursday, February 19, 2015

Life Lately

Life lately has been all but fun.  Sickness has been spread all around my house since January 30th.  It is exhausting.

No one ever told me how hard it was to take care of a baby while being sick and taking care of a sick husband on top of that.
Yes, every Mama gets sick and they all take care of their children, but am I the only one that feels guilty for "neglecting" their child?

Okay, okay, he wasn't neglected.  I just feel as that quality time hasn't been had and that we are just letting him have more independent play time while we all just lay around and try to get better.

My February goals that I set for myself have hardly been thought about.  I have cooked once this whole month.  Once.  Thank goodness for cereal and sandwiches.

This post is scattered from here to there, but that's what Thursdays are for.  Laying out my thoughts and rambles. 

Hope you all have had a better week than we have.  Happy Friday Eve!

Thoughts for Thursday

Wednesday, February 18, 2015

Featured on September Farm

Thank goodness for a little bit of sunshine!  We have been snowed iced in since Monday night and I am so thankful to actually be out of the house today.

I wanted to introduce you all to Karli and she blogs over at September Farm.  I have a small feature on her blog today along with three other ladies.  Be sure to head on over and get to know Karli and the other ladies featured today. 

I will see yall back here Friday for Friday Favorties!

Monday, February 16, 2015

Infertility Journey: Kailey's Story

Happy Monday!  Who is enjoying sunshine and 60 degree weather?  I want to come where you are!  We are expecting snow and ice a little later this afternoon, but no worries, I already stocked up on my Milk and Bread. Ha!
Today I have a sweet friend, Kailey sharing her story. Her blog is getting a facelift right now so I don't have a link back to her blog.  However, when her blog is up and running again, I'll be sure to come back and share with yall.  I am so excited for her and the new "stuff" she has coming up on her blog.
Here is Kailey's story.
Sweet friends, I am beyond honored to share a beautifully written story that only our amazing God could orchestrate. My husband and I never thought that we would face the decisions, procedures, and failures we have over the last six years, but God did. He knew from the very beginning of time that this would be our story, this would be how He got the glory He deserves.

Both of us wanted to be parents, but definitely disagreed on the timing of it all. We agreed while we were engaged we would wait five years to start our family. Ha! Well, as most of you women know, as soon as you get married the expectation and longing to become a mommy becomes almost allconsuming. It certainly did for me. I was on birth control for three months before we were married and then about three months after we were married we decided that it was not the best route for us. Long story short… that stuff made my crazy. Like really crazy. And so it began. I was convinced every single month that I was pregnant. I wasn’t. We continued to hope every month that I was expecting a little sweet one, but every month the test was negative. At beginning of 2010, we figured we should go to the doctor to see if something was wrong. After about two years of surgery, procedures, crying, screaming, throwing of things, and wondering why this wasn’t happened… I took matters into my own hands.

It was time for us to have a baby and I wanted to know what I needed to do. My doctor said that the next step would be to refer us to a specialist and he would probably suggest an IUI with clomid. Well, that’s what we did and for the next three months, I progressively got more overweight than ever and more depressed than ever. And I did not become pregnant.

All of those meds, appointments, and taking things into my own hands...just didn’t make it happen. I had spent all that time trying to get what I wanted and I ended up getting the furthest thing than what I wanted. I got Plan A.

At the end of April 2013, I was at the end of this road. At the end of taking things into my hands and making things happen. Making things happen the way I wanted them to happen. One of the most pivotal moments in our journey is the conversation I had with my mom, Sherry. I was not going to church, I did not want to be around anyone, I did not care about anything except getting pregnant. My mother has always had the tough conversations with me, but this one beats them all. She said she had been praying and didn’t want to have this conversation, but she knew she had to. She let me know that this was not living. She knew I was going to be upset and I was upset. But, I knew she was right. She was beyond right. It was that conversation got me out of the pit I had been digging for months.

The next week I started a weight loss program and began spending some major time with Jesus. I realized that God had another plan. The best plan and it wasn’t one I had written. He was calling me to chase Him and live the story He had written even before I was born. And adoption was going to be a part of the story.

Adoption had been on my heart since 2005, but not on my husband’s. The night he asked me to marry him, I remember telling him that I needed him to be okay with adoption before I said yes. He said that if we couldn’t have our own kids, then we could adopt. Fast-forward six years later, and still no children and no reason why. There’s nothing wrong with us. We wanted to be told our Plan A wasn’t going to happen so we could go to God’s Plan A. But God. He knew that we needed grow in Him to live the life that He has for us. This was how He was going to do it.

Over the next three months we prayed separately about what the Lord has for our family, adoption or not. I had already begun researching because my heart was sure. My husband was not sure and he needed time. But, in August, while laying in bed, he looked over at me and said, “So about adoption. I’m ready.” Cue, crying and laughing and crying some more. I was thrilled about this new adventure. This adventure the Lord had lead us to and there was no doubt that He was right there with us.

After one year of waiting in the adoption process, we were matched with our birthmother in December 2014. Our baby, Evangelyn Rose, is due in May! We are thrilled that this was Plan A! Evie Rose will be loved more than she can even handle.

Thank you so much for reading. I am truly grateful for our story. Every single detail.

Much love,

If you would like to share your journey here on RSG, feel free to send me an email and we can chat!

Friday, February 13, 2015

Oh Hey, Friday!

It's Friday so you know what that means.  Time to link up with the ladies below and share your Friday posts.  This was going to be a pictureless post, but I can't help but share one of my little dude!
He has the best bedhead in the morning.  We call this his Yogi (yogurt) face.

Rules.  I am a stickler for rules.  On my commute to work I go through 2 four way stops.  For some reason, people have no sense of road laws and totally disregard the "rules" at a four way stop.  It.never.fails.  Call it a pet peeve, but we all cant just roll on through the stop sign.  Just saying.
Last week I was able to see Wicked on Broadway.  If you haven't seen it, this is something to defiantly add to your to do list.  It was amazing.  I listened to the show on YouTube all last week and it has continued this week.  I may have been caught singing "Defying Gravity" in the shower this week.  Sorry, I'm not sorry.
On house news, things are moving.  We got news this week that the hardwood floors upstairs will be started today (hopefully) and it should take around 2 weeks to lay all the flooring for both stories. However, were we told that after the flooring was placed, we would have to wait a full month until they can be sanded and stained.  Bummer!  With this news it is putting us at the end of March being in our home.  On the upside, construction can continue while we wait to stain the floors.  All of our cabinets can be installed and paint can continue.  Ill give a bigger house update in the next two weeks.
Has everyone had this horrible sickness in their home?  I honestly feel like I've been sick the whole month of February so far. My husband and I had the stomach bug at the beginning of the month and this whole entire week I have been fighting a horrible cold.  With all the coughing I've done I would hope to be at least sporting a new six pack of abs.  Wishful thinking? 
My Erin Condren planner FINALLY came in the mail last week and I have had the best time filling that sucker up!  Since I was in high school I always loved having a planner.  When I first got married I used one to keep track of our finances.  I got away from using a planner for about a year but now with house appointments, doctor appointments, and work related items I find myself needing to use a planner again.  Once I get to using it more I will definitely be sharing with y'all how I use it and I have a little discount code too!

Hope your week has been smooth and weekend sunny!  I know we are supposed to have some cooler temps in Upstate SC with possible snow.  Give me all the snow, just don't knock my power out!
Happy Friday Friends!

Linking up with the Five on Friday ladies:
Lauren Elizabeth for High Five Friday
Jennie for Friday Favorites
Rebecca for That Friday Blog Hop
Leslie for Confessional Friday
Amy for Oh hey Friday
Amanda for Friday Favorites

Thursday, February 12, 2015

Life After Loss: My Story

Hey Y’all.  I'm Sydney and I blog at Raising Southern Grace.  I appreciate Aubrey having me today for Monday Mama.  I love finding other mothers to follow and this is a great series to get to know other Mama’s!
c/o Abby Williams

My son, Griffin is 8 months old, but I became a Mama in May 2012.  In May 2012 my husband and I decided that we were ready for children and that we would get off birth control and see what happens.  Months rolled around with no positive pregnancy test and I started to worry.  After several appointments with my Gynecologist, I made an appointment with a Reproductive Endocrinologist to see what was going on. I was diagnosed with PCOS, and was told it would be difficult for me to have children.  We started fertility treatments right away and were blessed in April 2013 with our first positive pregnancy test.  The next month we checked in on our baby and was told the most horrific news, “There is no longer a heartbeat.”
My life sank.  I had just lost by Dad to cancer five months prior and now I had to say goodbye to my child who I wanted to badly.  We decided after this news that we would take a break for a few months because we couldn’t fathom losing another pregnancy.
After a small break, my heart still ached to have a child in my arms so we started up fertility treatments again.  Our first cycle back after the loss, I had another positive pregnancy test.  I was over the moon excited.  I knew this was a child that God would let me raise and I had no fears during the entire pregnancy. 
c/o Wright Photography
Griffin was born April 25, 2014.  He was meant for us.   I think about the loss of my first child and I know we would not have Griffin if I didn’t go through that.  Having Griffin doesn’t make the loss any less hurtful.  It makes you really realize what you lost, but that God is still in control.
Now, I am “that mom”.  The mom who posts way too many pictures (Instagram:sydedwards22) and talk entirely too much about my child, and I love it.  I always swore I wouldn’t be that kind of mom but this is my new reality. 
c/o Abby Williams
I spend my days picking up toys for the 10th time and washing bottles in the sink that are up to my eyeballs.  There are mounds of baby clothes piled up and I haven’t had a full nights rest since he was born.  All the sweet snuggles, smiles, and laughter are amazing.  I go to bed at night and all I want to do is go get him out of his crib and get some extra snuggles in. 
c/o Abby Williams
Every day I am thankful.  Thankful to have a child to hold, take care of, and to love.  A child to call my own.

Dear New Mom,

Dear New Mom,

Congratulations and welcome to the best part of your life.  Motherhood!
It is the most beautiful, difficult, and emotional experience you will ever go through.  You went from having fears during your pregnancy to fears about all the “whatifs” now that the baby is here.  Try and listen to your own instincts and above all, google less. Hard I know, but it instills other fears that we didn’t have prior.
You will have many “mom experts”  give you advice on what you should do and should not do.  If it is asked for take notes.  If it was given freely, take it with a grain of salt and know that what you are doing is right.
You will be emotional.  Let it out! It doesn’t matter if you cry alone or in Target, let it out.  Have no shame and you will feel renewed after a good cry.
One of the hardest things is to not compare yourself to other moms.  Know that you are doing it right and tune out the judgment and trust yourself.
You are going to be scared and worry about everything.  Are they eating enough? Are they gaining weight?  Are they on the same level as other babies their age?  Let it go.  Switch out your fears with being in awe over what was created with love.
Your days may go slow but trust me, your years will fly by.  Don’t look for the fast forward button but instead take everything day by day by rejoicing and celebrating your miracle. 
You are on a new journey that is so imperfect and beautiful all at the same time.
Know that it gets better.  All of it gets better.

A Still Learning Mama

Wednesday, February 11, 2015

Dear New Mom

Morning Friends! There has been a lack on content on RSG for the past week and a half due to horrible sickness on my end.

I still wanted to share with y'all a guest post I did over at Aubree Shupe's blog.  She has a series called, "Dear New Mom," and it will definitely not disappoint!

Click here to read my post!  Heres to getting back to normal and leaving the sickness behind soon!

Monday, February 9, 2015

Infertility Journey: Jenn's story

Good Morning! I hope the Monday Blues aren't hitting you too hard.  For todays infertility journey, I have Jenn.  Here is her story.

I am so excited to have the opportunity to share our journey with you. I absolutely love this series Sydney is doing, and I am happy to be able to share our struggles and successes with all of her readers.

Robbie and I were married very young and were in no hurry to start building a family. We both come from families of five children, so we just assumed we would wait until we were ready, and boom, we'd start a family. We initially thought we'd wait about 5 years and then we'd have kids. Well after about 2 years of marriage, we'd had enough with birth control side effects and I was starting to get the baby itch. So I stopped birth control and we went for the whole, "not trying but not not trying," thing.

About 6 months after I went off birth control, I picked up a copy of Taking Charge of Your Fertility. It's a great book, and I highly recommend it. I learned everything there was to know about my cycles, and became a charting fool. I knew we were definitely having intercourse at the right time, but nothing was happening.

After a few months of charting I went in and talked to my OBGyn. She ran a couple basic blood work tests, and everything came back normal. She suggested a semen analysis. It took me a while to get Robbie to agree to a SA, but we finally did one. The results were below normal, and my OBGyn suggested we see a urologist. Before Robbie went to see the urologist, I had an HSG done to rule out any tubal and uterine issues. All was clear there, so we continued trying and hoping for the best. The urologist was pretty much a waste of time other than the fact that they confirmed below normal numbers.

I took a while before we were both ready to have a consult with a reproductive endocrinologist. After speaking with the RE, we were told we had a less than 1% chance of ever getting pregnant on our own, and it was advised to us that IVF was our best option. We weren't quite ready to pull out the big guns yet, plus we couldn't afford it, so we agreed to try IUI first. It was recommended that I have a hysteroscopy done before we start any treatment, so I had that procedure done, and we had our first IUI the following month.

Our first IUI, a natural IUI, was met with negative results. The following month we did an IUI with Clomid. When it came time for insemination, the post wash numbers for count and morphology were so low, our REs office wouldn't even charge us for the procedure. Needless to say, that procedure yielded a negative result too.

I was pretty heartbroken because I knew we were going to have to do IVF. I knew how expensive it was, how invasive it was, and I knew we were still a long way away from being able to pay for it. We continued trying on our own and praying for a miracle. I was interview for jobs that offered IF coverage in their insurance packages, but none of the interviews ever turned into a job.

It was about this time that Robbie started a new job. We live in Indiana which does not mandate any infertility insurance coverage. Lucky for us, his new job was headquartered in Illinois where there is a infertility insurance mandate. A great one! 3 months after he started his new job, we had infertility insurance coverage. We started our first IVF cycle almost immediately after his coverage began.

We were beyond lucky to have a successful first cycle. They retrieved 20 eggs. 19 fertilized. We transferred 2 grade A blastocysts and had 3 remaining to freeze. Both embryos took, and I carried a healthy twin pregnancy until 37 weeks.

Before Brooke and Harrison were even born, we knew we weren't done with treatment. We had frozen embryos and we planned to use them. When the twins were about 20 months old, we met with our RE again and started toward a frozen embryo transfer. A saline sonogram showed my uterus looked great, and we were given the green light for the FET.

We made it through the monitoring and were all ready for transfer. Our RE has an office where we live, but their main location, where they do all retrievals and transfers, is a two hour drive. We were half way there when we got a call that was supposed to be the embryologist telling us how our embryos were progressing. Instead it was our doctor telling us none of our embryos survived and that our cycle was cancelled.

We were devastated. We were prepared for an unsuccessful cycle, but not having a transfer hadn't even entered our minds. It left a lot of unanswered questions and tons of uncertainty as to where we were in our journey.

I met with our RE a couple months later and discussed our canceled transfer and what it might mean for future cycles. Robbie and I had already decided before this visit that we would be willing to go through one more fresh cycle. We talked numbers and began saving right away. We have zero insurance coverage for the procedure or meds this go round, even though my husband is with the same company. We had tests done last month and are set to start injections in late March. If all goes according to plan, we'll be transferring two embryos mid April. Although as anyone who has dealt with infertility can tell you, things don't always go according to plan.

If you want to follow along on our journey, I blog about life with our toddler twins and our IVF journey over at Our Little Miracles. I feel like this will be our last fresh cycle. Although I also said we would only go through IVF once. There's so much uncertainty and so many emotions involved, it's hard to say what will or won't happen. I do know that we were lucky to be have a successful first cycle and that we are beyond blessed to be able to afford a second go round.

I am happy to answer any questions about our journey or lend an understanding ear. is where you can hit me up. To anyone reading this, I hope you find peace in your journey. Whether it's through successful treatment, adoption, fostering, or child free living. Know that you are not in this journey alone, and that there are others on the same emotional roller coaster you are.